


give me your hand and i'll hold it

by suspendrs



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, First Kiss, First Time, Growing Up, M/M, harry cries a lot, like a lot, that's p much it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 09:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3564779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suspendrs/pseuds/suspendrs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Harry (9) moves in next to Louis (11). They have little roofs under their bedroom windows and like to sit there and talk. Seven years later, Louis has to leave for college.</p>
            </blockquote>





	give me your hand and i'll hold it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [liveandletlarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveandletlarry/gifts).



> This got so out of hand so fast. Title from 'People Help the People' by Birdy.

**August 2003**

Harry watches out the window as the car turns into his new neighborhood, his head leaning against the cool glass as the houses go by. He wishes it was raining so he could pretend his life was some kind of sad music video, instead of just sad in general.

The thing is, he’s nine years old, okay, and he has a _life_. He has friends and a nice teacher at school and a pretty okay family and a great bedroom. Rather, he had all of those things, before his mom decided to go off and marry her boyfriend and then buy a house with him. A house that is miles and miles away from Harry’s life.

Gemma had been pissed when she found out; she wouldn’t speak to their mom for days. Harry had just cried, not letting up even when Anne offered to take him for ice cream to make up for it. He went for the ice cream, of course, but it still didn’t change anything.

He was given a month to clean out his room and make piles of what would come to the new house and what would be tossed or given away. He decided to keep almost everything, much to his mother’s dismay, except his slightly childish bedding. He's nine years old, practically an adult, really, and bed sheets with little toy boats weren’t really cutting it anymore. 

This morning they watched all their stuff get loaded into the moving truck and then they were on their way, leaving Cheshire in the dust.

It’s quiet in the car now, everyone watching as Harry’s new step dad pulls into someone’s driveway and parks the car. “Welcome home!” He announces to the car and, oh, this is Harry’s house now. The moving truck pulls in behind them and everyone gets out of the car, Anne instructing Harry and Gemma to take their boxes and go claim their rooms. 

Gemma walks into the bedroom closest to the bathroom and slams the door behind her, like the moody almost-teenager she is. Harry just looks down the empty, cold hallway and tries not to cry again, because he already misses his other house.

The only other bedroom, other than the master which will obviously be his parents’, is down at the far end of the hall. He walks in and drops his box on the floor in the middle of the room, taking a slow look around. The walls are painted a light shade of pink and the light switch appears to have little teddy bear stickers on it, which will have to go ASAP. Other than that, though, the room isn’t too bad. One window looks out toward the street, one toward the backyard, and one to the neighbor’s house next door. Upon further inspection Harry finds that there is a flat little roof under the window facing the neighbor’s house, the chimney running up alongside it and blocking part of it from the view of the street. The little roof appears to be covering the bay window in the kitchen downstairs, and Harry finds that it’s sturdy enough to hold his weight when he steps out on it.

He sits down in the corner between the chimney and the wall of the house, leaning his head on the bricks and letting out a long breath. This would be a good place for reading, Harry thinks, deciding to come back out here as soon as his room is all set up. He goes back inside just as his step dad is lugging his bedframe into the room, and he spends the rest of the morning and early afternoon helping him assemble things.

***

By the time Harry’s room is set up to the bare minimum (“We need to paint it before we do anything else - Harry’s step dad), it’s about an hour till dinnertime and Harry’s mom told him to get lost about ten minutes ago. He digs through one of the boxes he’s yet to unpack in his room and takes out the book he’s been reading the past few days. He’s already almost done with the Harry Potter series, the voracious reader he is at his age. He climbs out the window and settles back into the corner he deemed his reading nook earlier, flipping open his book to the dog eared page and getting comfy. He’s not been out there long, only about ten pages or so worth of reading, when a voice startles him out of his book.

“Hey,” says the voice, seemingly from nowhere, and Harry jumps so hard his book goes tumbling out of his hands and straight off the roof. Harry blinks and looks after it for a moment before looking up, trying to discern where the voice came from. 

“Here, in the window,” the same voice says, and Harry looks across the neighbor’s house to see a boy, not terribly older than himself, perched on the windowsill. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” the boy says, giving Harry an apologetic look. He has a little roof identical to Harry’s outside his window and Harry watches in silence as the boy climbs out on it, sitting down at the edge and giving Harry the biggest, brightest smile he’s ever seen. Something about it makes Harry’s stomach twist but he leaves it alone, figuring it’s just nerves at the possibility of making a friend so soon.

“Alright?” The boy asks, and Harry nods, but then shakes his head.

“Oh, my book,” Harry mumbles, and the other boy looks confused until Harry points to where his book landed in the bush below the window.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll get it for you,” the boy grins, and Harry gapes as the boy just lets himself fall to the ground from the roof. Someone inside the boy’s house, probably his mother, yells, ‘Louis! I told you not to do that anymore,’ but the boy, Louis, just laughs and runs off with Harry’s book. Harry sighs as he watches Louis run back inside, thinking that he’s probably not going to give it back just to be mean. Harry wouldn’t be surprised; kids are horrible.

But then he sees Louis climbing back out his window, book in hand. “My mom hates when I do that,” Louis shrugs, handing the book across the small gap between their roofs to Harry. “I broke my wrist last summer doing that. It was a freak thing, though, total accident. It couldn’t happen again, but she doesn’t understand that,” Louis shrugs.

Harry just listens to Louis as he talks, book forgotten in his lap. He must look a bit spooked still, because Louis settles down for a moment and then smiles and holds out his hand. “I’m Louis,” he says, and Harry shakes his hand slowly. His skin is rough and a little bit dirty, just as a little boy’s hands should be. That’s one of the things Harry got bullied for at his old school, occasionally, that he used hand cream during the winter and didn’t know how to play football. He never really let it get to him, though, because he liked the way he was and he didn’t want to be like those rotten boys anyway.

“Harry,” he says quietly in return, giving Louis a smile.

“So you’re the new neighbors, then? Where did you move from?” Louis asks, leaning back on his hands and letting his feet dangle over the edge of the roof, getting comfy. Harry finds his page quickly and dog ears it, gently closing the book and setting it down beside him on the roof.

“Cheshire,” he says, looking back up at Louis. “We moved to Doncaster because of my step dad’s work,” he explains, and Louis nods. Harry wouldn’t usually give out so much information without being asked but something about Louis makes him feel safe, somehow.

“Well, good then. I’ve been waiting ages for new neighbors. The people that used to live here, their daughter picked on my little sister. I couldn’t even stand up for her, y'know? Can’t hit a little girl,” Louis shrugs, and Harry nods in agreement, although he never would have thought about hitting anyone.

“You have a sister?” Harry asks, thinking about his own grumpy sister down the hall. Louis nods and grins, kicking his feet against the wall underneath the gutter gently.

“Yeah, four of them. Lottie and Fizzy are in primary school, and then Phoebe and Daisy are just babies, they’re twins. Do you have any siblings?” Louis asks, sitting up a bit and looking at Harry closely.

Harry nods, pointing his thumb back toward the house. “Yeah, my older sister Gemma,” he says. “We’re pretty close, but right now she’s mad at everyone because we had to move, so she’s not very fun to be around,” he mumbles, and Louis laughs and goes off on some tangent about his own sisters. It feels like they’ve been out there for no time at all when Gemma peeks her head out the window, tapping on Harry’s shoulder.

“Haz, mom says it’s time for dinner,” she tells him, before looking up and seeing the boy at the next house. “Oh, I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister. Harry, now,” she says, before ducking back inside and disappearing. Harry looks up at Louis and Louis waggles his eyebrows, grinning at Harry.

“She’s cute,” Louis hums, and, well, Harry doesn’t quite like the way that makes his stomach feel. It’s almost like jealously, like maybe he doesn’t wanna share Louis with anyone, especially his sister. Before he can say anything, though, Louis is telling him goodbye and crawling back through his window. Harry goes back into his own house and closes the window, pouting to himself a bit as he goes downstairs for dinner.

Only after he’s been tucked into bed and is on his way to sleep does he remember he left his book outside.

***  
**November 2003**

As Harry and Louis get closer, Harry slowly realizes he’s becoming quite possessive. Harry gets sad every time one of them is called in for dinner or has to leave the roofs, and it’s becoming something of a problem.

Harry gets especially jealous whenever Gemma comes to the window to get him and Louis gives him a smirk and a wink when she goes. He doesn’t know why he feels this way but it eats away at him, this craving to have Louis all to himself all of the time. 

They’re in the same building at school, though in totally different parts. Harry is in the west wing of the building with the rest of the primary school kids, but next year, when he’s in year five, he’ll move to the east wing where Louis and Gemma have class. He can’t wait. One, he’ll get away from all of the snotty little primary school kids, but more importantly he’ll most likely see Louis every day during passing periods.

Seeing Louis somewhere other than their roofs will be a dream come true. They wait at the bus together every morning, sure, but Gemma is there too, as well as Louis’ two little sisters. Gemma makes Harry hold her hand when they cross the street to get on the bus, which is the absolute worst, because it makes Louis snicker at him and pinch his cheeks every time. 

When they get off the bus every morning, Louis and Gemma go one way and Harry, Lottie and Fizzy go a different way. Fizzy doesn’t particularly care about him but Lottie seems to like him quite a bit, which is flattering, but for some reason he wishes it were her older brother giving him all of this attention.

At the end of the day, though, Harry gets on the bus and immediately sees Louis waving him over to his seat. Harry gets to sit with him and his friends, Stan and someone else, every day on the way home. The other two boys get off ages before Louis and Harry’s stop, which means Harry gets Louis to himself for almost fifteen whole minutes. 

If the weather is nice when they get home, they sit out on their roofs and do their homework together, which usually just consists of Louis throwing little pieces of paper at Harry and trying to get them in his hair while Harry tries to figure out his times tables. Sometimes it rains, though, as it does in England, and they climb across the roofs into one of their rooms to do their homework.

Louis usually likes to come across to Harry’s room, even though it’s been months and it still hasn’t been painted. They sit on opposite sides of Harry’s bed in the pink room and do their homework and it should be embarrassing, his room is so lame, but Louis never seems to mind. 

“Why do you like to come here so often?” Harry asks one rainy day, looking up at where Louis is drumming a beat on his history textbook with two pencils, leaning against Harry’s headboard. 

“It’s quieter,” Louis shrugs, and then peeks out the slightly open door of Harry’s room into the hallway. “Plus, your sister is pretty fit. It’s good to get to see her, we don’t have a lot of classes together,” Louis waggles his eyebrows at Harry. Harry feels himself flush down to his bellybutton and he looks down at his homework, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes so Louis won’t see.

Of course Louis doesn’t come here all the time because he likes hanging out with Harry. He comes here because he likes seeing Harry’s sister. Harry feels exactly like the nerdy, gross little turd Gemma tells him he is all the time. He doesn’t say much the rest of the afternoon, not even looking up when Gemma comes in the room to tell Harry that Louis has to go home now because it’s dinnertime. He doesn’t watch as Louis packs up and leaves through the window, and he doesn’t even look at Gemma throughout the whole of dinner. He hates her, he thinks, for stealing his coolest (and only) friend he’s made here. 

He absolutely does not cry himself to sleep that night over it, even though he’s pretty sure Louis hadn’t even really looked at Gemma when she came in. He thinks about maybe distancing himself from Louis so that he won’t be as hurt when Louis finally completely ditches him for Gemma, but in the long run, Louis is still his only friend and Harry really quite likes him, and he really doesn’t want to stop talking to him just yet.

If Louis wants his sister, then fine. Well, not fine, but Harry’s going to enjoy having a cool older friend next door while he has him.

***

**June 2004**

The rest of the school year is pretty much more of the same. Harry finishes the year with top marks and is rewarded with a trip to the ice cream shop around the corner. Gemma isn’t allowed to come because she ended the year with a D in French, so Anne tells Harry he can invite a friend if he wants. Louis is the only friend Harry’s got, even still, so he runs right up to his room and climbs out the window. He’s still not great at getting across the roofs but he manages to make the jump, and then he knocks a few times at Louis’ window.

It takes a minute for Louis to open up but when he does he’s smiling, laughing softly at how Harry is perched at his windowsill. “Like a curly little bird, you are,” Louis giggles, and the attention makes Harry light up even more.

“My mom is taking me for ice cream because I got all A’s and she said I could bring a friend because Gemma can’t go. Wanna come?” He asks hopefully, and Louis nods quickly.

“Let me just ask my mom, I’ll be right out,” he grins, and Harry nods and turns around to make the jump back to his own roof. Louis doesn’t close his window until he’s sure Harry is back inside his own house safely. Harry gets his shoes on and goes to wait out front, and a moment later Louis comes out to meet him.

“She said yes,” he announces, walking over to ruffle Harry’s hair. “And she also said to tell you good job on your grades. She also said I should be more like you and try to get better grades, but she never went through Geography with Mr. Phifer,” Louis rolls his eyes, and Harry just giggles. 

“That’s okay, I don’t want you to be more like me anyway. I like you the way you are,” Harry hums, grinning up at Louis. Louis is almost an entire head taller than him, but Louis always says how he thinks one day Harry is going to be taller than the tree between their yards. 

Louis coos exaggeratedly at Harry’s comment and launches into a tickle attack on him, making Harry blush and laugh and try to wriggle free. His mom comes out the door a moment later and finds them like that, Louis pinning Harry down on the front lawn and tickling him so viciously Harry fears he might actually wet himself.

“Alright, boys, break it up. Who wants some ice cream?” Anne laughs, and Louis lets up on the tickling. He grins down at Harry, who is still giggling and a little bit sweaty, and then jumps up. He helps Harry off the ground and they run to get into Anne’s car, poking and prodding and laughing at each other the whole way to the ice cream shop.

**

It’s on the way back from the ice cream shop, faces and fingers still sticky with sugar, when Louis finds out.

“What do you mean you _don’t_ know how to play football,” Louis asks, looking seriously outraged. Anne just chuckles from the front seat as Harry shrugs.

“I don’t know. I’ve just never learned. I watch it with my step dad sometimes but, like, I’ve never really had an interest in playing, I guess.”

Louis looks genuinely offended, staring at Harry with his jaw open slightly. Harry just shrugs again and Louis shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry’s a bit worried until Anne parks the car at home and Louis grabs his arm, pulling him across his front lawn and to Louis’ house.

“Where are we going?” Harry asks, and Louis just shushes him.

“I’m going to teach you how to play football if it’s the last thing I do. Now go around to my backyard, and I’ll be right there.”

Harry follows Louis’ orders and heads around the side of the house, sitting down in the center of the grass and looking up at the sky. He doesn’t hear Louis come out the back door and he doesn’t see him kick the ball toward him, but he does hear Louis yell his name all of a sudden and he certainly feels it when the ball hits him straight in the chest. 

It knocks him over backwards and punches all of the air out of his lungs, leaving him sprawled on his back in the grass gasping for breath. Louis comes running over and kneels beside him as he coughs and wheezes, trying to get some air back into his body.

“Sorry, I thought you saw me,” Louis apologizes, pulling Harry into his arms to cuddle him back to health. Harry doesn’t really need the extra comfort but he’ll take it any day, nuzzling in close to Louis’ chest while he catches his breath. He only pulls away once his breathing is completely back to normal, and only because Louis pulls away first. 

“Okay, wanna play some football?” Louis asks, getting up and picking up the ball. _No, I want to sit back down and keep cuddling,_ Harry thinks, but he’s distracted by the way Louis is now juggling the ball on his knees. There’s probably a term for it but Harry doesn’t know it, and he kind of wants to learn how to do that.

“Teach me that,” Harry requests, stepping a bit closer as Louis stops and grabs the ball.

“You just kind of keep hitting the ball with your knees, see?” Louis explains, starting again so Harry can watch. “Like a game of keep it up with a balloon. Here,” he says, tossing the ball to Harry easily.

Harry manages his catch it against his stomach and holds it out, getting ready to try. He drops the ball and goes to hit it with his knee, but the ball just rolls off his thigh and hits the ground. “More force,” Louis instructs, so Harry picks it up and tries again. He brings his knee up hard and hits the ball, sending it right up into his face. He whimpers a bit as he staggers backwards, checking to make sure his nose isn’t bleeding.

Louis is just laughing at him, picking up the ball and shaking his head. “Maybe that’s a little too advanced for you. Lets work on kicking it with our feet first, yeah?”

They do work on kicking it with their feet first, and after a few more bruises and a close call with tears, Louis decides to call it a day.

“You’re not off the hook yet, Styles,” Louis tells him as he walks him back to his house. “I’ll teach you how to play someday,” he says, giving Harry a strong pat on the back and then running off. Harry looks down at himself, seeing how his shins are littered with bruises and he’s covered in dirt. He hasn’t been this dirty and bruised since he fell off his bike in the park that time. 

He grins to himself and runs inside, thinking about how proud his step dad will be that he actually did something boys are supposed to do.

***

**October 2004**

It turns out being in year 5 isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 

It’s still the same rotten kids in the same rotten school, only now they’re the babies, which means they’re basically shark bait. Harry can’t even open his locker without some kid in year 7 or 8 slamming it in his face. Louis and his friends are the only decent kids in year 7, Harry decides, because they’re the only ones that aren’t out to get him.

It’s a friday afternoon, only two classes left in the day before Harry gets to get on the bus with Louis and go home. He has gym in a few minutes and then English is his last class of the day. The older boys in his gym class have never been particularly fond of him, because he’s nerdy and weak instead of brutish and fast like them. Louis’ friend, the one that’s not Stan, is in his gym class too, and is generally pretty nice to Harry. Nice being that he doesn’t push Harry down in the hallway or snap all his pencils while he’s in the bathroom. Harry’s not entire sure what the boy’s name is, Zach or something, but he’s glad to have him around in gym.

They have to go outside and do a running test before it gets too cold, and Harry dreads it upon hearing about it. He’s never been much of a runner, and he knows the older boys are going to tease him relentlessly when he gets the worst score. They head outside and Harry tries to stay at the back of the group as they line up on the track, hoping to be able to blend in with the group of girls he finds there and avoid the older boys. Halfway down the track, though, one of the boys spots him and slows down, so Harry is forced to catch up with him. He tries to ignore him as best as he can, but the boy isn’t having any of it. He gets behind Harry and flat tires him, causing him to wipe out on the paved track and scrape up every available inch of skin.

He yelps in pain and looks up as the boy jogs away, laughing. He whimpers as he picks himself up off the ground, tears already in his eyes. His knees are a mess, scraped up and already bleeding profusely. His hands, arms and elbows are all scraped up as well, and even the bottom of his chin from when he hit the ground. 

“Shit, what a dick,” someone mutters behind him, and Harry turns around to see Louis’ friend jogging up to him. Harry cowers and the boy shakes his head, reaching out to touch Harry’s shoulder gently. “Hey, I’m Zayn, Louis’ friend? I saw what happened, come on, I’ll take you to the nurse,” he says, and Harry nods and follows him.

“Try not to let him see you cry, it’ll only egg him on,” he mutters in Harry’s ear, and Harry nods and tries to blink his tears away. Zayn leads him into the school and down the hall to the nurse’s office, helping him into a chair and then calling for the nurse. Zayn stays while Harry gets cleaned and bandaged up, and then walks him to his next class since the bell has already gone off and passing period is over.

Harry thanks him and Zayn just winks, before making his way down the hall and disappearing into another classroom. Harry sits through English miserably, all his cuts still stinging madly. There are some people in his class that are also in his gym class and he knows they all saw what happened, which just makes him wanna cry whenever someone near him whispers to someone else.

When the bell finally rings he nearly runs to the bus, but he does it carefully so he won’t break open any of the scabs that have already started to form. When he gets on the bus he sees Zayn talking to Louis, and Louis looks like he’s going to scream. Zayn gestures toward Harry and Louis' eyes immediately go soft, which makes Harry want to cry more than anything that happened so far. He sniffles as he sits down next to Louis and the boy pulls him into a careful hug, keeping an arm around him even as he pulls away.

Harry gets Louis’ sole attention the entire way home, and even when they get there Louis keeps him close. He comes straight over to Harry’s and they do their homework in Harry’s bed, sitting in silence until Louis cautiously brings up what happened in gym.

Harry starts to cry immediately, and Louis quickly crawls over to him and pulls him into a cuddle. Harry tells him the whole story and is sure to tell him how nice Zayn was to him, and Louis just holds him until he stops crying. He’s still sniffling a little by the time Louis says he has to go, but he just nods and wipes at his face as Louis gets up. Louis gives him one last long look before making his exit out the window, and Harry finishes his homework in silence and tries to pull himself together before dinner.

**

When Harry gets on the bus the following afternoon, Louis isn’t already there like he usually is. When Harry walks over and sits down in his seat, Zayn and Stan look down and pretend they haven’t seen him.

“Where’s Louis?” He asks, peeking over the back of the seat at the two boys. They look between each other and then Zayn sighs, looking up at Harry.

“Detention,” he mutters, and Harry’s eyes widen.

“What did he do?” He asks quickly, although he already pretty much knows the answer and he’s not really sure he wants to hear it out loud.

“He punched that kid Tom in the face during lunch, the one that tripped you in gym. Gave him a nice black eye, too,” Stan puts in, and Harry’s stomach sinks.

“Is he okay?” Harry asks worriedly, his eyes wide and sad at the thought of Louis getting in a fight because of him.

“Tom? No, are you dense, mate? I just said he’s got a black eye.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “No, I meant Louis.”

“Oh,” Stan says, shrugging his shoulders. “Yeah, he’s okay. Hurt his hand a little, but, other than that he’s fine.”

Harry nods and sinks back down in his seat as the bus starts to move, watching out the window as the trees and houses go by. When he gets home he goes straight to his room, grabbing a blanket and picking a book he hasn’t read yet from his bookshelf and then climbing out the window to his little roof. It’s been awhile since he and Louis sat out here and talked, but he wants to wait here until Louis gets home so he can give him a piece of his mind. Or a hug. Or both. Yeah, both sounds good.

He nestles into his place between the chimney and the wall and opens his book, making himself cozy under the blanket and starting to read. He’s almost halfway through his book by the time Louis gets home, and he hears his mom yelling at him as soon as they get out of the car.

“-to your room immediately and don’t you dare even think about leaving it, do you hear me? I can’t believe you, Louis Tomlinson, I absolutely cannot bel-” Harry flinches when he hears the front door of the house slam, and Jay’s voice is instantly cut off. He carefully dog ears the page of his book and places it down beside himself, pulling the blanket up around his neck and watching Louis’ bedroom window.

He sees Louis enter the room and carefully close the door behind him, holding one hand to his chest like it’s injured. He watches him sit down on his bed and look at the floor, and Harry frowns. He picks out an acorn from the gutter and throws it at the window. It bounces off and falls to the ground, and Louis looks up. He gets up from the bed and walks slowly to the window, opening it and climbing out onto the roof.

Harry just watches him, eyes following every move Louis makes as he sits gingerly in the center of the little roof. Louis looks down and then looks up at him, shrugging his shoulders once and then looking down again.

“Is your hand okay?” Harry asks quietly, and Louis nods. He’s not talking, which is so unusual for Louis, and Harry hates it. He gets up and carefully jumps to the other roof, sitting down beside Louis and covering them both with the blanket. When Louis looks at him his eyes are a bit wet and Harry just shrugs, tucking his head into the side of Louis’ neck. Louis wraps his arms around him and they stay like that for a while, until Harry has to go back inside for dinner and Louis has to go talk to his mom about how long he’s grounded for.

***

**June 2005**

Since Louis punched that kid Tom in the face, people have kind of stopped picking on Harry. Sometimes they still slam his locker in his face or trip him up a little bit in the hallway, but nobody dares to go farther than that. 

Harry finishes the school year with straight A’s again, but this time it’s raining on the last day of school, so they decide to wait on the ice cream tradition. Louis invites him over to watch movies in his basement and Harry agrees before Louis even finishes what he was saying, so excited that Louis would want to spend the first day of summer break with Harry instead of anyone else. He gathers up some blankets and DVDs from his room and then goes out the window, since this is a shorter trip than going out the front door and having to cross both the front lawns. He finds that the roof is a bit slippery when wet but he doesn’t think too much about it, hugging the blankets close to his body and stepping close to the edge. Louis is waiting just inside his bedroom, and Harry tries to make it quick in order to stay as dry as possible. 

He takes a step back and then goes to jump forward, but his foot slips a bit and then gets caught in the gutter. He shrieks as he falls, letting go of the blankets and putting his hands out to break his fall. He lands hard on his right arm and hears something snap, followed by the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life. 

He starts to scream and Louis jumps down beside him, picking him up in his arms and running to his house. Harry just keeps screaming into his chest as Louis gets Anne, the rain soaking them all as they go to the car. Louis puts him down on the seat and then climbs in beside him, even as Anne tells him that she’s got it from here.

“Please, let me come, Mrs. Twist,” Louis begs, already holding Harry close again in the car. Harry has stopped screaming but is still crying hard, whimpering and hiccuping as he holds his broken arm close to his body.

Anne relents and drives them to the hospital, insisting that she be the one to carry Harry inside. Louis agrees but stays close as they walk in, checking on Harry every few seconds to make sure he’s okay. Harry stops crying a few moments before they do an x-ray, though he’s still whimpering and sniffling a bit. Louis keeps telling him how brave he's being and it helps, honestly. He holds his mom’s hand with his good hand and locks eyes with Louis as the doctor snaps his bone back into place, squeezing Anne’s hand as hard as he can. 

The doctor puts a big cast on his arm a few minutes later and Harry whines as he looks down at it, starting to sniffle again. He won’t be able to swim or play football or anything for the next six weeks, which is horrible, because it’s the first day of summer break. Louis promises to hang out with him inside all the time, though, even offers to hold his book open for him while he reads. 

Anne doesn’t let him go over to Louis’ when they get back but she says Louis can stay and watch movies at Harry’s house, and Louis agrees without a second thought. They cuddle up together on the couch under a huge blanket and Harry falls asleep before the first movie ends, the pain medication he got at the hospital putting him right out.

When he wakes up Louis is sleeping as well, still holding him close, and Anne tells him she ordered them pizza that will be here any minute.

**

The cast comes off late in July, and Louis is there for that, too. His arm smells horrible and still hurts a little when he moves it too much but the doctor says he’s healed, and that he should take it easy but he’s good to go.

When they get home Louis waits for Harry to wash his arm so it smells less like rotten skin and then they turn on a sprinkler in Harry’s backyard, and it’s the best day of Harry’s whole summer.

***

**December 2005**

Louis’ 14th birthday isn’t anything too big, but it’s perfect nonetheless. Harry, Zayn and Stan gather in Louis’ basement and play video games for most of the night, eating pizza and cake and maybe even watching a few Christmas specials on TV. 

It had been hard for Harry to convince his mom to let him go out on Christmas Eve but he promised he’d be home before 9:30, so eventually she had agreed. It’s cool to hang out with Stan and Zayn outside of the school cafeteria and the bus.

Harry is in year 6 now, and Louis, Zayn and Stan are in year 8. They’re all in the same lunch period this year, which Harry loves, because now he doesn’t have to eat alone in the bathroom anymore. Louis and his friends are officially teenagers, but still they like to hang around with nerdy little Harry. Harry is still only 11, but he’ll be 12 in a few weeks time. 

When 9:30 rolls around and Harry has to go home, Louis offers to walk him back to his house. His mom no longer allows him out on the roof after the time he fell during the summer. He and Louis still go out there and talk sometimes at night when nobody is around to tell on Harry, but doors have become his main mode of entry and exit now. Louis walks him all the way back to his house before Harry realizes he forgot to give Louis his gift. 

“Oh, your gift. Here,” Harry hums, pulling the wrapped box out of his sweatshirt pocket and handing it over to Louis. Louis grins down at it and then looks back at Harry, as if asking if he should open it now. “Go on,” Harry encourages, because it’s cold out and he would quite like to get inside now. “I wrapped it myself. Even got a little bow on it,” he hums, pointing out the bow on the top of the box.

Louis just grins again, wrapping Harry in a one armed hug and pulling away too quickly. “Thanks, Hazza, but I wanna save it for tomorrow, so I can open it with the rest of my gifts,” he says, and Harry pouts.

“But I’ll be at my aunt’s house tomorrow, you know that. Open it now, I wanna see your face,” he pleads, but Louis just shakes his head and smiles again.

“I’ll open it tomorrow, promise. Goodnight, Harry, happy Christmas!” And with that, Louis’ off, dashing back to his own house. Harry just stares after him, mouth slightly agape.

“I just got rejected on Christmas Eve,” he sighs, shaking his head as he turns around and goes inside. He says goodnight to his parents and Gemma and goes upstairs, getting ready for bed and then climbing in. He can’t wait to see Louis again to know what he thinks of the present, which is a framed picture of them at the ice cream shop on the last day of school a few years ago. It had been Harry’s mom’s idea but Harry thought it was perfect, and he hopes Louis agrees.

***

**May 2006**

“Harry, get the door please!” Anne yells from somewhere in the house as Harry is sprawled out on the couch with a bowl of cereal. It’s 11:00 on a Saturday morning and he’s not even fully dressed, but he gets up and goes to the door anyway. 

“Oh, hey Lou. Come in, I’m just eating breakfast,” he hums, letting Louis into the house and closing the door behind him. He goes and sprawls himself back on the couch, making room for Louis to sit down near his feet. 

“Is Gemma home?” Louis asks after a moment, and Harry nods.

“Yeah, she’s in the shower, I think,” Harry answers, not paying much mind to the question. He finishes his cereal and puts the bowl down on the coffee table, flipping onto his back and putting his feet in Louis’ lap. Louis rubs at his ankles idly, staring off into space a little bit.

Harry knows better than to try and get Louis to talk when he’s like this, because usually he’s worried or nervous about something and he’ll talk about it when he’s ready. After a while Gemma comes downstairs, saying hi to Louis and then going into the kitchen. Louis stands up abruptly, knocking Harry’s feet to the floor and nearly sending the rest of his body with them. He sits up on the couch to ask Louis what’s going on but then Gemma comes out of the kitchen to go back upstairs, and Louis stops her.

“Hey, um, I was wondering, would you wanna go to the spring semi-formal with me?” Louis asks her, and Harry’s jaw drops. So does Gemma’s, but that’s not important.

“Oh. Yeah, okay,” Gemma nods, and they both smile. Harry feels like he’s just been kicked in the stomach when Louis steps forward and initiates a warm hug.

“Cool. My mom can drive us, I’ll pick you up at six?” He says, and Gemma nods again. She goes back upstairs and Louis whips around, beaming. Harry forces a weak smile.

“Look at that, Haz, I’ve got me a date,” he cheers softly, holding his hand up for a high five. Harry gives him one that’s weaker than his fake smile, but Louis doesn’t seem to notice. “Yes! Well, I’ll see you later, Harry,” he hums, ruffling Harry’s hair and then letting himself out.

Harry wants to cry. He has absolutely no idea why, but he wants to cry and scream and pull Gemma’s hair, or something. He’s 12 years old, though, and he won’t do anything like that. He’ll be an adult about this. As soon as he finds out why so much jealousy is pooling in his stomach.

**

The dance is a week later, and Louis shows up at 6:00, just like he said he would. Gemma looks gorgeous, Harry will admit, her hair curled perfectly and little bit of blusher on her cheeks. Louis looks great as well, in dark jeans and a button up. Harry sits on the couch by himself while they take pictures in his living room, annoyed that his sister gets his best friend to herself for the whole night.

Louis hardly even says anything to him, too caught up in all the attention on him and making sure he and Gemma both look great in the pictures. They do, of course, but it still annoys Harry to no end. 

“See you later, Haz,” Louis says to him before he and Gemma leave, holding his hand out for a first bump. Harry just rolls his eyes and turns away, heading upstairs and slamming his bedroom door. He hopes that hurt Louis as much as this whole thing is hurting him, but he knows its not possible. He takes a thin blanket and a book out to the roof to read until he gets tired, watching over the top of his book as Louis and Gemma climb into Jay’s minivan and head off to the dance.

**

When he wakes up, it’s because Gemma is poking at his shoulder and whispering his name. He picks his head up and looks at her, frowning when he realizes she’s leaning out his bedroom window and he’s still on the roof.

“Did you fall asleep out here?” She asks, climbing the rest of the way out and sitting down next to Harry. She’s in sweatpants and a shirt now, and her hair is down but still curled beautifully. She steals some of his blanket and cuddles close to him, forcing him to let her in.

“Must have,” he mumbles through a yawn, rubbing at his face. “How was the dance?”

Gemma shrugs, nuzzling her head into his shoulder and letting out a breath that tickles his neck. He does that to Louis all the time. “It was fun, kinda. Good music and stuff. Food was kinda crap, but I wasn’t expecting anything more.”

Harry looks up at Louis’ window and sees that his blinds are pulled, but he knows the light is on inside because of the faint glow around the edges. Gemma must see him looking, because she sighs into his neck. “He thinks you’re mad at him because he took me to the dance. Are you?” She asks, looking up at him and meeting his eyes.

“No,” Harry grumbles, because even though he hates the very thought of it, he doesn’t think he could ever be mad at Louis for anything. “Did you kiss him?”

Gemma doesn’t answer for a moment, but then she nods. “Yeah. We didn’t like, make out or anything, but there was a slow song and when it ended he just kissed my lips quickly,” she says, like it’s nothing. Harry’s blood is boiling, though.

“Was that your first kiss?” He asks, because he really hates the idea of Louis, _his_ Louis, forever being Gemma’s memory of her first kiss. She shakes her head, though, and Harry lets out a sigh of relief.

“Do you remember that kid Jake, back in Holmes Chapel?” She asks, and Harry scrunches up his nose. “Yeah, he was my first kiss,” she says.

“Ew,” Harry announces, and Gemma hums her agreement. He still really doesn’t like the thought of Gemma kissing Louis at all, but he can deal with it as long as he’s not her very first one. He’s not mad, he supposes.

“I think I’m his girlfriend now,” Gemma says. And, well. Now Harry’s mad. Not mad, actually, more like completely devastated. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, he said something about maybe hanging out again, like a date. It’s not that serious though, Haz, we’re in year 8,” she chuckles. Harry just nods, glaring at Louis’ closed blinds until he sees the light go off.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed now, Gems,” he whispers, and she nods. She gets up and crawls back through the window, Harry right behind her. She says goodnight and closes the door on her way out, and Harry collapses onto his bed with a whimper. He’s 12 years old and he’s practically an adult but he feels like his heart is broken and he doesn’t even know why, and it hurts enough that he cries himself to sleep over it.

He goes back out on the roof the next morning to finish his book. He’s not been out there long when Louis’ window opens and he crawls out to sit across from him.

“Hey,” Louis says, and Harry just shuts his book and swallows hard. He gives Louis the dirtiest look he can muster and then crawls back into his room, slamming the window shut and pulling the blinds.

***

**June 2006**

Louis breaks up with Gemma about three weeks after the dance. Nobody really knows why, but Gemma doesn’t seem all that upset about it, so Harry’s not either. He hasn’t even really talked to Louis except for telling him to fuck off on the bus two days after the dance. It was the first time he’d ever used that word and it felt so good, until he saw the hurt look on Louis’ face like he was going to cry. Harry had been able to ignore it until they got to school, though, and then it was his turn to want to cry as he watched Louis and Gemma walk off to class holding hands.

They’re broken up now, though, which is good. Gemma already has her eyes on another boy in her year, and with only a week and a half left of school, she’s confident she can win him over by then. Harry’s been reading a lot more often with the loss of his best friend, and he’s run plum out of books to read. He’s out on the roof with a book from the school library when Louis’ window opens and he comes out on his roof, sitting down across from Harry. Harry pretends not to notice, keeping his nose in his book.

“Haven’t been out here in a while,” Louis comments, but Harry continues to ignore him like he isn’t even there. “Haz, please,” Louis begs a moment later, his voice breaking on the nickname. Harry looks up to see that Louis is looking at him with watery blue eyes and, well, he breaks.

He puts his book down and carefully jumps over to Louis’ roof, sitting down next to him and looking up at him. Louis puts his head down in Harry’s neck and takes a shaky breath, so Harry wraps him in his arms and holds him the way Louis used to do to him all the time. It’s awkward because Louis is a lot bigger than him but he likes it, likes the way he can feel Louis’ heartbeat in his back through his fingertips.

He lets Louis have a little cry on his shoulder, not really saying much and not really getting much from the boy. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks after a while, and Louis shakes his head immediately. “Is it about the breakup?” He asks, and Louis shakes his head again and pulls away.

“No. Well, not really,” he says, his voice shaky and sad. Harry leaves it at that, because Louis said he doesn’t want to talk about it. 

“Wanna go watch a movie in your basement?” He asks next, and Louis nods this time. He would’ve invited Louis to his own house to watch a movie but Louis probably doesn’t want to run into Gemma while he’s there, so this is probably the better option.

They get up and crawl into Louis’ room, Harry following Louis all the way down the stairs to the basement. They curl up on the couch after they’ve turned on Spider-Man, Louis’ favorite, and Harry really can’t even tell where he ends and Louis begins. They stay tangled up like that throughout the whole movie and Louis falls asleep with his face mashed into Harry’s chest and Harry’s missed this so much he could cry about it. 

He won’t cry about it, though, because he’s 12 years old and he’s practically an adult, and crying is only for babies and people with broken hearts.

***

**September 2006**

Getting on the bus is so weird without Gemma and Louis. It’s even weirder walking down the row and seeing mostly new faces, and not Zayn and Stan. There’s a kid in year 5 in the seat he used to share with Louis every day so he sits in the one in front of it, staring out the window the whole way to school.

Years 9 through 12 are in a different building and start a half hour earlier than years 1-8. When Gemma was leaving for school this morning he was just eating breakfast, and he laughed at her all the way out the door.

He starts thinking about what it’s going to be like when Louis leaves for uni and he won’t even be right next door anymore. The thought makes him want to cry but he doesn’t, because he’s alone on the bus and he’s nearly at the top of the food chain now, in year 7. He’s still the only one in his year without a cell phone and he still gets tripped sometimes in gym class, but now he is older, and therefore cooler, than most of the people in the school.

The first day of school goes as most first days do, full of boring syllabuses and lame scavenger hunts around the classrooms. The one good thing about Louis going to school earlier than him is that he gets home earlier too, and is already out on his roof when Harry gets off the bus. He runs straight into his house and up the stairs, climbing out the window and jumping across to Louis.

“Hi,” he says as he sits down next to him, smiling as he cuddles into his side. “How was school?”

“It sucked, but I knew it would. How was yours?” Louis asks, wrapping his arm around Harry and holding him close. 

“Wasn’t too bad,” Harry shrugs, grinning up at Louis. “I got your favorite old Geography teacher,” he giggles, and Louis rolls his eyes.

“Crazy old Mr. Phifer, huh? Yes, his class was so beneficial to me. Especially the part when he told me I was a waste of space and I was never going to amount to anything,” Louis grumbles. Harry just cuddles closer in support. _You’re not a waste of space, you’re my whole world,_ he doesn’t say.

They sit there and talk for a while until Harry decides he should go get all of his syllabuses signed and his questionnaires filled out before he forgets. He bids Louis farewell with a pat on his head and then jumps across to his own roof to go inside. 

When he comes back to his room a few hours later Louis is still just sitting outside, knees pulled up to his chest, staring straight ahead like he’s lost in thought. Harry watches him for a moment, wonders what he’s thinking about, and then goes back downstairs for dinner.

***  
**December 2006/January 2007**

Harry couldn’t be happier if he tried. Louis invited him to spend New Year’s Eve in his basement this year, just the two of them. Stan is grounded and Zayn’s family is away for the whole holiday break, which leaves just Louis and Harry available for festivities. Harry’s mom bakes cookies for him to take over to Louis’ house when he goes, even though Harry told her it would be just him and Louis.

Harry sets off at 7:00, trudging through the snow to Louis’ front door. Louis opens up after a moment, smiling crookedly down at Harry. “Welcome, Harold. Oh, I’ll have those,” Louis sings, snatching the tray of cookies out of Harry’s hands and bringing them down to the basement. Harry follows after him, his jaw dropping a bit at what he sees.

The basement is decorated beautifully, streamers and fairy lights hung all over the place. Louis hands him a pair of glasses in the shape of ‘2007’, and Harry grins as he puts them on. The TV is already on to display the festivities happening in London, the sofa pulled out into a bed with mounds and mounds of blankets on top. On the coffee table are two champagne flutes and a bottle of apple cider.

“Mom wouldn’t let me have the champagne, so this’ll do,” he hums, pouring Harry a glass of cider and then flopping back on the sofa bed. Harry smiles and pushes his glasses up to the top of his head, taking a sip of cider and sitting down next to Louis. They watch the New Years Special on BBC and make fun of all of the people on the screen, and Harry thinks that nobody in London is as happy as he is right now, sitting in his best friend’s basement drinking apple cider.

As midnight draws closer, so do Louis and Harry. Eventually they’re completely tangled together on the sofa bed, covered in all of the blankets and some pillows. Harry’s leg is between both of Louis’ and his head is resting on his chest, Louis’ arm around him with his hand resting on his hip. Harry’s never felt so comfortable in his whole life. 

They’re both getting sleepier even as the festivities on the TV get more and more exciting, but they’re both awake enough to yell out the countdown to the new year. Harry grins and looks up at Louis as the clock strikes midnight, and Louis looks down at him with a look in his eye that makes Harry’s stomach flip with nerves. Louis leans in a bit and for a moment Harry thinks he’s going to kiss him, but then Louis aborts and kisses his forehead instead.

“Happy New Year, Harry,” he mumbles against his skin, pulling away with a small smile and a twinkle in his eye.

“Happy New Year,” Harry breathes out in return, staring up at Louis for another moment before putting his head back down on his chest. Louis falls asleep after a while, Harry can feel his breathing even out under his hand, but Harry can’t fall asleep. He keeps thinking about that little jump his stomach did when he thought Louis was going to kiss him. It had felt like… excitement? But Harry doesn’t know why the thought of Louis kissing him is so exciting. They’re _mates_. Harry doesn’t even like boys, and neither does Louis, he’s pretty sure. Not that Harry’s ever had a particular interest in girls, and he’s never seen Louis have a relationship with a girl that lasted more than a few weeks.

Before he puts himself in crisis mode he turns his attention back to the TV, letting the excitement of everyone in London lull him to sleep.

**

He wakes up to fingers carding softly through his hair and a gentle voice in his ear, telling him that it’s almost noon. Harry opens his eyes slowly and looks up at Louis, who is smiling down at him like maybe he’s the sun. Harry can’t help but smile back, nudging his head against Louis’ hand to get him to keep playing with his hair.

“C’mon, Haz, I’m hungry. Let’s go make pancakes,” Louis says, and Harry nods. He sits up and rubs at his eyes a bit before he stands from the sofa bed, stretching his back to make it pop a few times. Louis gets up a moment later and leads him up the stairs to the kitchen with a gentle hand on the small of his back. Harry remembers their almost-kiss last night and blushes, turning his face away so Louis won’t see.

Louis starts gathering the ingredients they’ll need for the pancakes while Harry goes rummaging for a frying pan and turns the stove on. They mix up the batter and make themselves a few very large pancakes, giggling to themselves as they flick batter at each other. Louis swats Harry’s bum with a spatula at the same time Jay walks into the kitchen, and all three of them just kind of look at each other for a moment before carrying on quietly. Jay leaves as soon as she came and Louis and Harry lose it, laughing loudly and spilling almost an entire bag of chocolate chips on the floor.

By the time they’re done eating and have cleaned up their mess in the kitchen, it’s snowing so hard that Jay almost doesn’t let Harry leave for fear that he’ll get lost in the snow somewhere between the two houses. Louis promises to keep him safe on the walk and Jay finally relents, telling Harry goodbye as Louis leads him out the front door.

Harry debates with himself if he should bring up the almost-kiss but in the end Louis makes up his mind for him, dropping another kiss to the top of his head when they reach Harry’s front door. “See ya, Hazza,” Louis hums, ruffling up Harry’s hair and setting off back to his own house. This kiss seemed a lot more friendly than romantic, as the one last night had been. Harry might just be making things up in his head, though. They were both tired and drunk on apple cider, anything could’ve happened.

Maybe if he keeps repeating that in his head, he’ll believe it.

***

**June 2007**

They don’t ever talk about The Almost-Kiss of New Year’s Eve, as Harry’s deemed it in his head. Also in Harry’s head, they seem a lot closer now than they were before. They’ve always been unusually close, but now they’re almost always touching if they’re in the same room. Harry loves the attention, and Louis always seems happy to give it as long as he’s getting it back, which he always is.

Harry doesn’t know why he can’t stop thinking about it, but it kinda freaks him out. When he’s not with Louis he feels like he’s lost, almost, like a ship lost at sea without a compass. It’s cheesier than anything Harry’s ever let cross his mind before, but it’s the only thing he can think of to describe it.

School’s just ended a few days ago, which means that in a few months Harry will be in year 8, aka the very top of the food chain. The only people he’ll have to worry about will be people in his own year, and when the year is over, he’ll be at the bottom of the food chain again but he’ll have Louis to protect him.

It’s past 10:00 and Harry’s in bed reading when there’s a tap on his window. He looks out to see Louis perched on his roof, face smushed up against the glass. Harry giggles and taps on his nose, and Louis pulls a face at him before moving back from the window and beckoning Harry outside.

Harry opens the window carefully and steps out, the shingles still warm under his bare feet from the hot day. Louis lays down on the flat part of the roof and pats the space next to him, so Harry lays down at his side and cuddles close. He looks up at the sky and lets out a soft breath at the amount of stars littering his view. Usually the clouds cover the stars but today had been a clear, bright day, and the stars are out in full force. He takes his head off of Louis’ chest and lays it flat on the roof, getting a more direct view of the stars. He’s in the middle of trying to pick out the constellations when suddenly Louis’ face is obstructing his view. Harry thinks he might be prettier than any star, which is an alarming thought.

“Hi,” Louis breathes, and Harry smiles, staring up at Louis’ bright blue eyes. He goes a bit cross eyed after a moment and he realizes it’s because Louis is moving closer. His stomach does that same little flip from New Years but this time Louis doesn’t abort, and then they’re kissing.

It’s just a touch of their lips at first but then Louis starts to move, slotting their lips together and doing all the work. Harry’s never done this before but he’s positive that Louis is the best at this in the entire world. He brings one hand up to touch the back of Louis’ neck and Louis’ hand comes to touch his cheek, and Harry feeling like he’s flying. Louis pulls back after a moment and sits up, so Harry sits up after him, feeling his lips as if to check if that was real.

“You kissed me,” Harry states after a moment, and the words seem to shock Louis to life.

“Sorry, shit, I’m so sorry. That was so stupid, why did I do that,” Louis mutters, mostly to himself, as he scrambles up and jumps across to his own roof.

“Louis, no-” Harry tries to argue, because _no,_ that was perfect, and not stupid at all, but Louis is already back inside the window with the blinds pulled. Harry sits alone in the dark for a few minutes and just stares at Louis’ window, tears in his eyes at the thought that Louis was so disgusted from kissing him that he literally got up and ran away.

He’s sniffling by the time he gets back into his room, and he’s 13 now but he decided a while ago that crying is only for babies and people with broken hearts, the latter of which is definitely a possibility right now. He climbs into his bed and lets a few tears fall, wondering if Louis will ever even speak to him again now.

**

Louis does end up speaking to him again, but he says nothing of the kiss.

Harry is out in his backyard the next morning with his mom, helping her water some of the flowers in her garden. He sees Louis come outside but pretends not to, wanting to see if Louis will just go back inside when he sees Harry or if he’ll come over and talk to him.

“Hey, Harry,” he hears after a moment, and he turns to see Louis standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. 

“Hi,” Harry says, waiting to see if Louis will say anything else. When he doesn’t Harry goes back to his watering, and Louis steps closer. Harry is turned away from him, though, and doesn’t see him step on the hose. He frowns when the water stops, giving the hose a little shake and then turning it to look into it and see if there’s something blocking the water. Louis removes his foot and Harry gasps as he gets a face full of ice cold water, whipping around when he hears Louis cackling behind him. 

He turns the hose on him and puts his finger over the hole to make the water spray harder, successfully soaking Louis with it. Louis shrieks and goes to run away but Harry runs after him, still spraying him with the hose. It doesn’t occur to him that eventually he’ll run out of hose and have to stop, so he keeps running toward Louis’ house until the hose reaches it’s maximum length and stops him short, pulling his feet out from under him and sending him crashing into the mud on his back.

The wind is knocked out of him just like it was all those years ago when Louis kicked the football at his chest, only worse, and for a terrifying moment he can’t breathe at all. Louis comes running over when Harry starts wheezing and coughing as his lungs struggle for air, and Harry reaches up and grabs at his shirt. 

“Haz? Are you okay?” Louis asks worriedly, voice laced with concern. 

“I- I need-” Harry gasps, and Louis’ eyes widen. 

“Mrs. Twist!” Louis screams, and Harry’s mom comes running over. “I think he needs his inhaler,” Louis rushes, and Anne sets off at a run for the house. Harry keeps struggling for breath and Louis tries to soothe him, placing a hand on his chest and telling him that everything will be okay. Anne comes back in record time and gets the inhaler in Harry’s mouth, and he’s finally able to take a few deep breaths. He closes his eyes as he gets his breathing back under control, and Anne leaves them alone once she’s sure that he’s okay.

“Thanks,” Harry breathes out, opening his eyes and looking up at Louis. Louis just smiles, brushing some hair out of his face.

“Don’t mention it,” Louis hums, leaning back on his haunches and smiling down at Harry.

“There’s a lot of things we don’t mention,” Harry says before he thinks it through, and Louis’ eyes widen again. Harry’s about to either abort or beg Louis to explain what was going through his head when he kissed him last night but Louis just gets up, brushing the dirt off his pants.

“I should go, then,” he says quickly, turning to leave before Harry can get another word in. Harry sits up and calls after him but Louis is already gone, and Harry groans as he falls back to the ground in defeat.

***  
**August 2007**

By the end of the summer, Harry learns to stop bringing up the kiss. Louis runs away every time Harry even thinks about it, and their time together is already so limited that Harry would rather just live in confusion about it than spend any less time with Louis than he already does. 

Louis got his first job a few weeks ago at Toys R Us, and Harry's mom refuses to take him to visit every day he's working like Harry wants to. "Louis is busy, honey, he's at work," she says every time, and Harry pouts about it until Louis comes back home. 

Louis goes out with his friends a lot more now that he has money, but Harry is hardly ever allowed to come, either because Louis doesn’t think he’ll enjoy himself or because it’ll be past Harry’s curfew. So Harry just sits at home alone most nights and reads, thinking about how much fun Louis is probably having without him. Sometimes he feels like a drag when Louis’ friends want to do something or go somewhere and Harry isn’t allowed, so they just hang out in Louis’ basement all the time. Harry usually goes home early on his own to let the older boys do what they want, wishing he were older and cooler like them.

He and Louis still sit out on the roofs sometimes and talk but it’s becoming less and less frequent as Louis works more and hangs out with his friends. School is starting in a few weeks and then Harry will hardly ever see Louis at all, because they go to different schools still and Louis will be working three days a week after school. They only talk on the nights that Zayn and Stan are busy and Louis doesn’t have work, but even then it’s usually cut short by one of their parents or siblings or tiredness. Harry falls asleep on the roof more than once waiting for Louis to come out, and every time when he wakes up Louis’ blinds are pulled.

It’s nearly 11 on one of the last nights of summer, and Harry hasn’t talked to Louis in over a week. This would be so much easier if he had a phone and they could at least text while Louis was not at home, but his mom refuses to buy him one, saying he’s too young and he doesn’t need it. He climbs out of bed and walks over to the window, climbing quietly out onto the roof. He jumps over to Louis’ roof and knocks at the window, crouching down so he’ll be in sight if Louis opens the blinds. 

He knocks again after a moment and Louis whips the blinds open, throwing up the window. “ _What,_ Harry, go home,” Louis spits, looking irritated and slightly upset.

“I miss you, though,” Harry whispers, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice so Louis won’t think he’s a baby.

“It’s late, Harry, go to fucking bed,” Louis hisses, and slams the window back shut. Harry flinches and watches as Louis pulls the blinds again, staring with his jaw slightly open. He moves back to his own roof and sits down, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face between them. All he wanted was to talk to Louis for just a few minutes, see what’s going on his life. He didn’t deserve to be yelled at like that.

But then again, maybe he did. Maybe Louis is finally seeing him how everyone else sees him; a whiny little baby who cries too often and doesn’t know how to kick a football. Maybe that’s exactly what he is. He looks up when he hears Louis’ window again, and sees Louis stepping out and across the roofs to sit down next to him.

“Sorry,” Louis whispers, wrapping his arm around Harry’s balled up frame and pulling him into his side. “I’m sorry. I miss you too,” he mumbles, nuzzling his nose into the side of his head. Harry hopes that maybe he’ll leave a kiss there in his hair, but he doesn’t. 

Harry doesn’t say anything, just lets Louis hold him for a moment.

“You can go to bed, if you want. It’s late, you said it yourself.”

Louis is quiet for a moment before he squeezes Harry tight and then lets go. Harry closes his eyes as Louis stands up and jumps back to his own roof, disappearing inside and closing the window behind him. Harry sits there for a while longer, maybe a few minutes or maybe a few hours, before he gets up and goes back into his own room. 

He misses Louis more now than he did before he went outside, but he tries to ignore it. He curls up in his bedsheets and closes his eyes, forcing himself to stop thinking about the warmth of Louis’ chest and fall asleep.

***

**September 2007**

The boy sitting next to Harry in homeroom was definitely not here last year. He has crooked teeth and bright blue eyes and soft looking brown hair, and just his presence next to him makes Harry feel more at ease, and he doesn’t even know his first name.

“Hey,” the kid says after a while, and Harry looks up to find the boy already looking at him. “I’m Niall, I’m new. Think you could show me around?” He asks, and Harry just blinks at him. The boy speaks with a thick Irish accent and he talks _fast,_ but the smile he’s giving Harry makes him feel obligated to smile back.

“I’m Harry, and I would love to show you around.”

It turns out they’re in every class together and they’re even on the same bus; Niall lives about two streets away from him. They talk every day for the first two weeks of school, and Niall starts to fill the void that Louis used to squeeze himself into. 

Harry has hardly talked to Louis since school began, because apparently there’s a lot of homework in year ten and Louis doesn’t have much time to do anything other than go to school, go to work, do his homework and then sleep. Harry gets it but he still misses him a lot, wishing they could sit outside and chat all night like they used to when they were younger.

Harry invites Niall over one day after school, and Niall agrees excitedly. Niall talks the whole bus ride home about how his mother is going to let him dye his hair in a few weeks, and Harry tells him he thinks he’ll look good blond. The compliment makes Niall blush and Harry smiles, looking at him for a second.

He thinks about kissing Niall, about how it would feel to have Niall’s lips move against his own like Louis’ had that night in June, or against his forehead like New Years. It doesn’t send the same shock of excitement down his spine as it does when he thinks about Louis that way, and that confuses him. He wonders if maybe he has what could be considered a crush on Louis, but that would be weird.

They’re _mates_. And Louis doesn’t even like boys.

They get off the bus at Harry’s stop and go up to Harry’s room, after Niall introduces himself to Harry’s mom and then waggles his eyebrows suggestively at him. Something tells Harry that Niall wouldn’t want to kiss him anyway, even if Harry did want to.

They sit on Harry’s bed and do their homework, a plate of snacks between them. It feels weird to do this again with someone that isn’t Louis, but Niall is nice enough and offers to help Harry fake sick in gym class next week to get out of the running test if Harry will help him with his algebra. Before Harry knows it it’s almost dinnertime and Harry’s mom offers to drive Niall home when he says he can’t stay. They walk out the front door together and walk to Anne’s car, and Harry just happens to glance over and see Louis sitting up on the roof outside his bedroom. They lock eyes for a moment and then Harry turns away, following Niall into the car closing the door behind them.

When he gets back home after driving Niall home, Louis is still up on the roof. Harry goes upstairs while his mom starts dinner, opening his bedroom window and climbing out to sit across from Louis.

Louis looks so big sitting on the roof now. Harry hasn’t seen him like this for months, and it’s almost shocking how much Louis has grown. He wonders if Louis thinks the same thing about him, or if he even cares to notice.

“Who was that?” Louis asks, and Harry looks out toward the driveway like Niall is still standing there.

“Niall, my friend. He’s new,” he explains, and Louis smiles.

“So you’ve finally got some friends your own age, huh? Are me and the lads allowed to ditch you without feeling bad now?” Louis says, and he’s clearly joking but it still sends a jolt of pain right through Harry’s chest.

It must show on his face because Louis’ smile drops immediately and he sits up a bit. “Harry, I didn’t mean that. C’mon, I was kidding,” he pleads, but Harry just curls into himself a bit and looks down.

“Hazza, look at me. C’mon, love, you know you’re still my number one,” Louis grins, and Harry just shrugs. He kinda wants to cry and he starts to get up so he can go back inside and do just that in private, but Louis jumps across the roofs suddenly and stops him. He grabs Harry by the face and forces him to look at him, and Harry’s heart speeds up. This close he can see right up Louis’ nose but he forces himself to look at his eyes, because they’re a lot prettier than the tiny booger in Louis’ left nostril.

“You know that, right? I still consider you my best friend, even though we don’t really talk as much as we used to,” Louis confesses, and Harry just blinks up at him, so Louis continues. “I really miss the times when we could just sit out here and talk or do our homework in your room, but things are different now, y’know? I’m a lot busier and I know I don’t have a lot of time for you, but that doesn’t make you any less important to me, okay?” Louis says, and Harry nods.

He wants Louis to kiss him so badly, wants him to lean in and press their lips together and prove that he’s as important to Louis as Louis is to him. Louis pulls away after a moment, though, dropping his hands from Harry’s cheeks to his shoulders. 

“I actually don’t have much homework today. Wanna come watch a movie?” 

Harry nods even though he knows his mom is making dinner right now, jumping across to Louis’ roof and following him inside. Louis got a new laptop for his last birthday and they curl up together in Louis’ bed and watch Netflix on it. It feels like it’s been forever since Harry has been in Louis’ room, but when he looks around he sees that not much has changed, aside from the slight maturity of some of the objects among the clutter. Up on Louis’ bureau is the framed picture Harry gave him for his birthday a few years ago. Harry smiles as he looks at it, putting his head down on Louis’ chest and paying more attention to the sound of his heart than to the movie.

***

**May 2008**

Louis is over Harry’s house on a Friday night for dinner, and Harry’s stomach has been jumping with nerves since Louis got here. He’s not sure about what he’s planning to do but he can’t make himself think about the negatives, foolishly thinking only about the ideal turnout.

They eat pizza on the couch in the living room, watching a movie and trying to see who can poke the other the hardest until one of them gets annoyed. Harry’s parents are up in their bedroom and Gemma is sleeping at a friend's, and everything seems right, so Harry just goes for it.

“Hey Lou, can I ask you something?” Harry says during a boring part in the movie, turning to face Louis.

“You just did,” Louis says through a mouthful of pizza, and Harry shakes his head.

“I’m serious,” he says quietly, and Louis turns to look at him immediately.

“Yeah, of course Haz, go for it.”

“Okay,” Harry starts, looking down and fiddling with his hands in his lap. “Well, you know how I have the semi-formal for year 8 this year?” Louis nods, so Harry continues. “Well, it’s tomorrow night.”

“Have you asked anyone yet?” Louis asks, and Harry shakes his head.

“No, well, that’s what this is about.” Louis looks confused but Harry just barrels on. “Would you wanna go with me, maybe? Like, as my date?”

It’s silent for a moment as the whole world comes crashing down around Harry, and Louis is just staring at him.

“What- what the _fuck,_ Harry,” Louis says loudly, and Harry tries to shush him, his parents are right upstairs, but Louis stands up and backs away from the couch. “You’re fucking joking, right? That’s- shit, Harry, that’s disgusting,” he shrieks, and Harry stands up as well, shaking his head quickly. “No, get away from me, you fucking weirdo,” Louis spits, turning on his heel and storming out the front door. Harry watches him go and then plops down on the couch, eyes full of tears. That literally could not have gone worse.

His mom comes downstairs just as Harry bursts into tears, and she rushes over to him and holds him while he cries. He soaks her shoulder through her night shirt with tears and probably a little snot, but she doesn’t seem to mind, just whispering in his ear that he’s going to be okay.

Eventually he calms down enough that he’s just whimpering quietly, and his mom pulls away a bit to look down at him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asks softly, her voice comforting and warm and exactly not what Harry needs right now. It just makes him start to cry again as he shakes his head, and she tells him it’s alright. He cries himself to sleep in her arms and she must carry him to bed because she can. He’s 14 now but he’s still small for his age.

When he wakes up the next morning his eyes are puffy and sore, and his heart feels like it has a dent about the size of the bottom of Louis’ shoe. He goes downstairs for breakfast and then goes back to bed, only getting up again to use the toilet for the rest of the day.

**

Needless to say, he doesn’t go to the dance. He looks out the window at some point and sees that Louis’ blinds are open and his lights are on, but he doesn’t want to talk to Louis ever again, really, so he just crawls back into bed.

***

**November 2008**

Harry and Louis never really talk about the time that Harry asked him to be his date to the dance, but they do slowly start talking again. 

Not for the whole summer, and not even really when school started again, but eventually. Harry is year 9 now, the same building as Louis and Gemma, so he joins in on the carpool. Louis gets his license first and takes over the carpool, driving Harry and Gemma to and from school every day. 

Gemma comes down with mono in the beginning of October and is out of school for two entire months, giving Louis and Harry plenty of time alone together in the car. 

It starts out slow, one of them commenting on some song on the radio, and after only a few short weeks progresses into Harry actually smiling and saying hello when he gets in the car in the morning. They never, ever mention what happened that Friday night in May, though, and Harry thinks it’s okay. He’s got his best friend back, and that’s all that matters. 

Louis got fired from his job at Toys R Us sometime in August for being too sassy to the customers, Harry learns. This development gives Louis a lot more free time, which he spends with Harry sometimes. They do their homework in Harry’s room a few times just for fun, which progresses back to every day. They’re almost just like they used to be when they were both so, so young, and it feels so good.

Except Louis keeps getting all these letters from universities. They all say they want him at their school, but some of them are all the way across the country and Harry feels sick just thinking about Louis leaving. He helps him sort through the letters anyway, discretely tossing any of the ones from schools more than an hour away from Doncaster. Louis doesn’t have to start applying for another few months but he says it’s fun to think about. Harry can’t say he really agrees.

***

**April 2009**

If Harry thought he was upset when Louis took Gemma to his year 8 semi-formal, it’s nothing compared to how he feels when Louis asks some girl named Hannah to his junior prom.

Hannah is beautiful, long blonde hair and a pretty face, thin and small and she looks great with Louis. Harry hopes she breaks a heel on the way into the country club and breaks her pretty nose. He stands with the parents as Louis and his friends take pictures with their dates in Louis’ front lawn, wishing for some reason that it was him that Louis had his arms around like that. Harry forces a small smile when they all pile carefully into Louis’ car and head off to the dance, watching the car drive away until they disappear.

He huffs and goes back into his own house, changing into a pair of old sweats and curling up in his bed with a book. He stares at the same page for close an hour, fantasizing about what it would be like if he were the one at prom with Louis right now instead of Hannah.

**

He wakes up at 1:00 in the morning to the sound of his phone buzzing away on the night table. His mom had finally relented and gotten it for him for his last birthday, and he couldn’t have been happier. When he pushes himself up and reaches for it, he see’s that it’s Louis calling him.

“Lou?” He rasps into the phone, sitting up a bit and rubbing at his eyes.

“Can you come to the roof?” Louis asks shakily, his breathing stilted and rough like he’s having a panic attack. Harry is wide awake instantly, already scrambling out of bed. 

“I’ll be right there,” he says quickly, hanging up and throwing his phone onto the bed. He nearly falls out the window and jumps immediately to Louis’ roof, where’s curled up in a ball crying into his knees.

“Hey,” Harry says, sitting down beside him and pulling him into his arms. “You’re okay, I’m here,” he hums into Louis’ ear, letting him cry into his shirt for a while. Louis is still in his tux but he doesn’t have shoes on and the buttons on his shirt are all done up wrong, leaving one side of his shirt much longer than the other.

Louis eventually stops sobbing and just hiccups a few times into Harry’s chest, and Harry rubs his back gently. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks quietly, and Louis doesn’t answer him for a long few minutes.

“I lost my virginity tonight,” Louis finally breathes out, and Harry feels it like a bullet to the chest. He squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them, pulling Louis a bit closer. 

“No offence, mate, but that’s not something people usually cry about,” he whispers back, trying to pretend like his heart isn’t breaking at the thought of Louis having sex with that girl. 

Louis just cries a little harder, though, burying his face in Harry’s chest again. “I think-” Louis cuts himself off with a sob, making himself as small as possible and nuzzling even closer to Harry. Harry is about his size now, big enough that when he holds him like this he can actually hold all of him. Harry brushes a kiss against Louis’ hair, which is a bit sweaty from all the crying. 

“I think I’m gay.”

He says it so quietly that Harry has to think for a moment about whether or not he imagined it, but when it hits him he tugs Louis so close that the older boy whimpers in pain. Harry buries his face in Louis’ neck and rocks back and forth until Louis completely calms down, getting sleepy and pliant in Harry’s arms. “That’s okay,” Harry tells him, and Louis shrugs. Harry frowns, pulling away to look at Louis’ face.

His cheeks are wet with tears and his eyes are red and raw, but he’s still breathtakingly beautiful. "I wanna hear you say it. Say it’s okay,” Harry says, and Louis shakes his head. “Say it!” Harry demands, giving Louis a little squeeze.

“It’s okay,” Louis whispers, but Harry isn’t buying it.

“Again.”

“It’s okay.”

“Like you mean it!”

“It’s okay!” Louis yells suddenly, startling even Harry with the sudden volume of his voice. “Im gay and it’s okay,” he repeats, voice just a bit quieter this time so he won’t wake the whole neighborhood.

Harry smiles and nods, pulling Louis close again and nuzzling into his hair. “I’m so proud of you,” Harry whispers, and he can feel Louis smile against his chest.

***

**June 2009**

Louis wants Harry there when he comes out to his family.

He invites Harry over for dinner one night after school ends, pulling him into a hug at the front door. “I’m gonna tell them tonight,” he whispers into Harry’s neck, and Harry gives him a long, reassuring squeeze. Dinner is excellent, as it always is at the Tomlinson household. They’re all seated at the table in the kitchen, enjoying roast beef with mashed potatoes and peas, when suddenly Louis grabs Harry’s hand under the table and squeezes hard.

Harry almost drops his fork but he holds on, taking another bite of mashed potatoes and looking over at Louis from the corner of his eye. Louis waits for a lull in conversation before he clears his throat, immediately gaining everyone’s attention. Harry gives his hand a little squeeze and Louis squeezes back again before he opens his mouth.

“I um. I have something to tell you,” he says, staring at his mom’s shoulder and digging his nails into the back of Harry’s hand. Harry tries not to wince, giving Louis his full attention like the rest of his family. “I’m um… Well, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that, um, I’m gay,” he looks like all the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders once the words are out of his mouth, but Louis doesn’t take his eyes off his mom’s arm.

The table is silent as Harry looks around. Lottie and Fizzy both look vaguely surprised but not upset in any way, which is a good sign. Jay’s eyes are full of tears but she’s smiling like the proudest mother in the whole world, and Louis’ dad just smiles at his plate and nods slightly. Louis’ grip on his hand tightens as everyone remains silent, until finally someone talks.

“Me too,” Daisy chirps, and everyone whips around to look at her. She looks surprised at the sudden attention, holding her hands up innocently. “What? You told me that word means happy,” she says.

Louis starts laughing first, and within seconds everyone at the table is laughing too. Louis still has Harry’s hand in a death grip, but at least he’s smiling. 

“Daisy, honey,” Jay chuckles, not taking her eyes off of Louis while she talks. “That word also can mean when you like to date someone the same gender as you, as in a boy that likes boys, or a girl that likes girls,” she explains, and Daisy lets out a quiet ‘oh’. “And only the bravest of the brave find the courage to admit it,” she continues, grinning at Louis.

Louis smiles back, his hand finally releasing its grip on Harry’s as he relaxes. Jay comes around the table to give Louis a hug, murmuring about how proud she is of him. Louis keeps holding Harry’s hand for the rest of dinner, and when Harry finally has to go home, Louis walks him to the door and gives him a big hug on the doorstep.

“Thank you, Hazza. I needed you there,” he whispers into his ear, and Harry just smiles as he hugs him back. Harry’s still not sure whether he likes boys or girls, or maybe a bit of both, but he’s sure in this moment that he’s in love with Louis.

***

**September 2009**

Harry gets shotgun on the first day of school because Louis wants to hold his hand over the console. Harry sticks his tongue out at Gemma as she rolls her eyes and gets into the backseat, happily taking the front. 

A few days after Louis came out to his family he came out to Stan and Zayn, who immediately asked if he and Harry were dating. Louis had blushed down to his bellybutton and just looked at Harry, who looked back and shrugged, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, I think we are,” Louis had said slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Harry’s for a long minute. They had made out for a solid fifteen minutes in Louis’ front seat when they got back home, and it felt so good to be able to kiss him and not have him run away after.

So now Louis is officially Harry’s boyfriend, and Harry’s happier than ever. Harry never actually came out or anything, still isn’t really sure what his sexuality is, but all he knows is that he loves Louis. Maybe he’s strictly Louis-sexual, who knows. Probably not, but Louis loved the idea when Harry confessed it to him one night on the roof.

Louis kisses him once he parks the car at school, before letting go of his hand and getting out of the car. The three of them walk into school together and Harry goes his separate way from Louis and Gemma, determinedly not looking back. He and Louis have already talked about the fact that their relationship has to be kind of a secret in school, because Louis isn’t totally out yet and he isn’t ready to be, and Harry respects that.

Niall is in most of Harry classes and Louis is in his lunch, which means it’s going to be a pretty good year. And it is, for the most part, until Louis gets accepted to his top choice university in January.

Harry’s thrilled for him, really, but it’s just that it’s two hours away and his mom isn’t going to let him get his license because Gemma just got her’s a few months ago and it costs money to go through driver’s ed, so it’s not a priority. Louis won’t have his car on campus either, which means they’ll only ever see each other when Louis comes home for breaks. It feels like everything’s falling apart before it’s even begun, but Louis assures him every day that no matter what happens, they’re going to be fine.

***

**May 2010**

It’s Louis’ last day of school forever, and Harry’s been on the verge of tears since he woke up. They don’t do much in any of his classes because all of the kids in year 12 have just been running around causing mayhem all day, as they do every year on their last day.

The whole school gathers in the gym at the end of the day to countdown the final seconds of the day, and Harry can’t help but seek Louis out in the crowd. They spot each other at the same time and make their way toward each other, pushing past people as they begin to countdown from ten, all eyes on the clock. Louis grabs Harry and kisses him hard as the crowd screams _3, 2, 1!_

The bell rings and people start running for the door, all the year 12s screaming and hollering. Louis pulls away from the kiss and grins at Harry, who is just standing dumbfounded in the middle of the crowd. Louis just kissed him in front of the whole school, and Harry feels faint.

Louis keeps grinning as he turns and starts running with the rest of the kids in his year, screaming at the top of his voice as he runs out through the door. Harry’s eyes are full of tears as the gym empties out and he slowly makes his way out too, walking to where Louis’ car is already waiting at the front of the school. Harry gets in and Louis immediately reaches over to pull him into a hug, neither of them saying anything for a moment.

When they pull away they share a watery smile and then Louis drives them home, holding his hand over the console like he’s done everyday of the school year so far. Harry will go back on Monday and keep going until June, but Louis’ summer starts now. They drive to the ice cream shop they went to on the last day of school Harry’s first year here, and somehow they both order the same things they did seven years ago.

**

It isn’t until they get home that they realize they left Gemma at the school.

***

**September 2010**

Harry sniffles as he helps Louis pack the rest of his bags into the family car, his eyes filling up with tears as they shut the hatchback together. He’s 16 years old and crying is for babies, people with broken hearts, and people whose boyfriends are about to move two hours away. Gemma left a week ago and Harry had been just as upset to see her go, unable to imagine the house without her.

Louis chuckles sadly and pulls Harry into his arms, letting him bury his face in his neck and sniffle some more.

“C’mon, love, don’t start crying on me now. We’ve still got a two hour drive,” Louis hums, rubbing Harry’s back gently. He nods and takes a deep breath to pull himself together, pulling away from Louis and wiping at his eyes quickly. Louis chuckles at him again and leads him to the side of the car, helping him through the sliding door of the minivan.

Louis’ dad is taking the littler kids out for back to school shopping while Louis’ mom brings him, Harry and Lottie to drop Louis off at his dorm. They give Lottie the front seat with Jay so that Louis and Harry can cuddle in the back, sharing a pair of earphones and watching a DVD on Louis’ laptop. Harry manages to keep himself together until they pull up to the university, and his eyes fill with tears again as they get out of the car and start lugging bags into the hall Louis' been assigned to. 

They find his room fairly quickly and help him get all of his bags inside, and the RA comes by after a little while to introduce himself to Louis and tell him that his roommate won’t be arriving until tomorrow. They get Louis’ bed set up and Harry helps him hang some pictures and posters on the wall, the framed picture of them from 2003 set up on Louis’ bedside table. Harry gets too emotional when it all starts to come together and excuses himself to the bathroom down the hall to get himself under control. He splashes some water on his face and looks around, wrinkling up his nose at the thought of having to use a community bathroom like this every day. 

He chuckles to himself when he sees a basket of condoms on the counter next to the sink, picking one up to go show Louis because he knows he’ll think it’s funny. When he walks back into the room Jay and Lottie are gone, and Louis is sitting on his bed, back against the headboard. Harry sits down across from him at the foot of the bed, stretching his leg out to poke at Louis’ knee with his toe.

“Remember when we used to sit like this in your bed everyday after school?” Louis smiles, staring down at where Harry’s toes are still touching his knee. Harry smiles and nods, watching Louis closely.

“Where are the girls?” He asks after a minute, pulling his foot back to himself. 

“They went to get lunch, give us some alone time,” Louis says, and looks up at him to smile sadly. “The last we’ll have for a while.”

Harry swallows hard at that and looks down, biting at his lip. “Look what I found in the bathroom,” he laughs, pulling the condom out of his pocket and tossing it to Louis. “There’s a whole basket of them by the sink, like free candy,” Harry giggles, and Louis smiles as he looks at it.

It’s quiet for a few minutes, both of them just looking down at their knees. “Do you want-” Harry’s voice cracks, and he clears his throat and tries again. “Do you wanna use it, maybe?” He asks, and Louis’ eyes shoot up to him.

“Really? I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for,” Louis assures, but Harry nods.

“No, I want it. I don’t know when I”ll see you again, it might not be until December, Louis. Please?” He whispers, eyes full of tears again. Louis nods quickly and gets up to shut the door, making sure it’s locked before he comes back to the bed. 

He lays Harry down on his back and kisses him softly, climbing on top of him. It’s not the first time they’ve done this, really. They’ve kissed plenty in their time together, gotten each other off countless times, but they’ve yet to go all the way. Harry’s never felt more ready, though, letting Louis undress them both without protest.

It’s slow and gentle from start to finish, Louis checking over and over to make sure Harry is okay. When they finish Harry is sure he’s never felt anything so wonderful in his life, wrapping his arms around the naked, sweaty boy on top of him and holding him close. They clean up and get dressed and then resume cuddling, unlocking the door and opening the window to let the room air out before Jay and Lottie come back. 

Not too long after they come back, Jay announces that they should head out, because Harry and Lottie start school in a few days too and Louis needs time to settle in and adjust. Harry starts to cry immediately, which makes Louis cry, which makes Jay cry, which, of course, makes Lottie cry. They stand in a little huddle near Louis’ bed and just cry for a moment, before they all collectively pull away and wipe their faces. Louis drags Harry in for one last kiss before they leave, and Harry gnaws on his lip the whole way back to the car. 

He doesn’t let himself cry again until they’re on the highway, watching out the window and wiping away the silent tears that roll down his cheeks. He texts Louis when they get home, like Louis asked him to before they left. They spend the rest of the night texting back and forth until Harry falls asleep with his phone in his hand, and when he wakes up in the morning it’s dead and his heart is in a dorm room two hours away.

***

**February 2011**

Louis isn’t able to make it home for Harry’s birthday.

His winter break ends a week and a half before Harry turns 17 and there’s no way Louis can get home again to celebrate with him, because it’s too long of a drive for Jay to make four times, there and back, in two weeks, and Louis wouldn’t be able to afford a cab all the way home and then back. Harry understands, of course, but he still demands that Louis Skype with him for at least two hours on the night of his actual birthday.

“Has my mom given you my present yet?” Louis asks after they’ve been talking for a while, and Harry shakes his head and sits up.

“No. You got me a present?” He asks hopefully, and Louis smiles. 

“Yeah, hold on, I’ll call her right now and have her bring it over,” Louis says, pulling out his phone and then stepping away from the screen so Harry won’t be able to hear him on the phone. Harry just stares at Louis’ bum on the pixellated screen until he comes back, the smile on his face brighter than the sun in July.

“She says she’s on her way,” Louis hums, and Harry grins. About thirty seconds later the doorbell rings and Harry runs downstairs to get the door, thanking Jay with a hug when she hands him a messily wrapped box.

“I tried to rewrap it for you but he flipped. He told me to tell you he wrapped himself,” she says, and Harry can’t help the smile on his face as he looks down at it.

“Even got a little bow on it,” he breathes, and Jay nods.

“Oh, is that some inside thing between you too?” She asks, and Harry looks up at her in confusion.

“He told me to say that too,” Jay explains, and Harry grins as he remembers saying those exact words to Louis on his birthday a million years ago. He gives Jay another hug and then dashes back upstairs, sitting down in front of his laptop and shaking his head at Louis.

“Did she say what I told her to say?” Louis asks, and Harry just laughs.

“Louis Tomlinson, you massive sap.”

He takes the bow off of the gift and puts in on his head, drawing a little giggle out of Louis. He unwraps the paper next and his smile turns soft at what he sees: an oversized sweatshirt from Louis’ university. He lets out a soft chuckle and pulls it on, pulling the neck up over his nose and inhaling deep.

“It smells like you,” he mumbles into the fabric, and Louis cocks his head on his laptop screen.

“I have a scent?” Louis asks, a small smile pulling at his lips. Harry nods.

“Kinda like vanilla and spice, and a little bit of sweat,” Harry describes, and Louis’ nose wrinkles up.

“That doesn’t sound very nice,” he laughs, and Harry pouts.

“Hey. It happens to be my very favorite scent in the whole world.”

They keep talking until Harry falls asleep in Louis’ sweatshirt, and when Harry wakes up he sees that Louis has ended the call but left a little message in the chat box. 

_Sleep well, my love. Happy birthday xx_

***

**June 2012**

Harry graduates valedictorian of his year. Louis is in the audience to see him walk and make his speech, and he cheers louder than anyone in the whole place.

Harry’s graduation party takes place immediately after the ceremony, most of his family and a lot of his friends filling up the backyard. Harry feels like he’s on top of the world, tucked under Louis’ arm the whole afternoon even though he’s almost a head taller than him by now.

As the party draws to a close, Harry takes Louis’ hand and leads him inside, up to his bedroom. Louis waggles his eyebrows and smirks but Harry shakes his head, bringing him out on the roof instead. He hasn’t been out here in years but it still feels exactly the same, albeit a bit less roomy. He tucks himself into the corner between the chimney and the wall, as he did for the first time almost nine whole years ago, and pulls Louis down to sit between his legs with his back against Harry’s chest.

“I have to tell you something,” Harry breathes into Louis’ ear, tucking his chin over his shoulder and running his fingertips up and down his thighs. He's almost a head taller than the older boy now. Louis shivers and hums for Harry to continue, leaning his head back against his shoulder and looking up at him.

Harry takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, pressing his face into Louis’ neck. “When the summer is over, I’ll be accompanying you back to university,” he mumbles, and when he peeks his eye open, Louis is just frowning confusedly.

“Of course you will, you always come with me when I go back,” he says, and Harry shakes his head.

“Yeah, I know, but. This time, I’m not leaving.”

Realization dawns on Louis’ face but he looks like he’s waiting for Harry to confirm it, so Harry smiles and says, “I got accepted to your university back in March. In the fall, I’ll be coming to school with you.”

Louis stares up at him for a moment before he whips around, straddling Harry’s thighs as he leans in and kisses him hard. Harry holds onto Louis’ hips as Louis holds his face, kissing him breathless, and then some.

“I love you so much,” Louis whispers when he pulls away, leaning his forehead against Harry’s and smiling right in front of his face.

“I love you too,” Harry whispers back, wearing a smile to match. “And I think I’ve loved you since I was 9 years old.”

_**The End**_

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the ending send me hate mail I deserve it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos make me :))))))


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